Tom and Jerry Battle In Bangkok Part 1.

This is a true story of two neighbours fighting at my apt in Bangkok. They are both Canadian and both over 50 years old.
I call the big one Tom and the smaller more timid one Jerry after the cartoon characters. Tom likes to sing and play music in his room, which Gerry hates as he cannot do his work, they have been fighting for many months now and have finally put their war on to email. The following is an email that Tom sent to Gerry on July 1st this year 2010. WARNING: Please note some of the language here is not suitable for children, strictly adults only should read this!

The title of the email was "TODAY WAS YOUR LAST LUCKY DAY".

Jerry,

I was very kind to you today.
You attacked my door. That is a direct attack on me.
Your unwarranted barrage of insults was impressive. You must have been studying me for some time.
You called me a liar and a thief and a bully. You mentioned that I lie to my girlfriend. Then you went on to say how I stay up all night then sleep all morning and wake up at 1pm. You must be monitoring my activities. Then you accused me of being a bully.

Monday after watching me walk by through your peep hole you waited until I was safely at the elevator before insulting me. I could not understand Monday's insults because you moved back inside your door before I could request a repeat of your offensive remarks.

By calling me a thief you are obviously referencing the raincoat that I so graciously agreed to deliver in Canada for you so you could save the postage money. Since the raincoat was never received by the intended receiver you with your mildly retarded intelligence and logic have determined that I stole your raincoat. For your information my room mate who does not know you paid the postage for you at a Shoppers Drug Mart in Kitchener. Your intended receiver had moved and did not provide a forwarding address. We discussed this already. See how doing a favour for a friend can backfire?

All this time I thought you were upset, banging walls, slamming doors and generally being rude about the loud music.

Your reputation for not getting along well with others especially neighbours in adjacent rooms to your room precedes you. You have made problems for others who have had the pleasure of living next or near to you. There are a group of tenants at Saithip Grandville whom you have had issues with.

Your urine tossing escapade directed at your former neighbour who chose to smoke in his own room against your demands is legendary.

I was gracious once again when I offered to help you change rooms when we both realized that you do not like living beside me.

I am now advising you to move beside someone who shares your ideas and schedule. I don't. Our building is full of empty rooms. Why is a jerk off like you living beside me? I have been in my room more than 8 years. You just moved next door and are telling me what to do. Since I don't behave according to your rules that must be your logic for calling me a bully. Bullies are in kid's school yards. You're an adult. Behave as one. Nobody is bullying you. Get in touch with your "not fucked inner self". Take your psychotic nonsense somewhere else.

Saithip Grandville is not yours. The world does not evolve around your petty expectations and demands. You upset women and their children today with your bad tempered display. They heard you on the 8th floor and all the way down to the lobby. You owe them all an apology. Do not apologize to me. I don't need you scratching your guilty itch around me. Just as I never needed your raincoat. You are a delusional stooge.

It is common knowledge around here that you hate me. If I had known I would not have been so charitable and considerate of you over the years.

In January you took a knife into a mutual friend's room and said you were going to kill Tom with it. You are a fucking creep. I am keeping a close watch on you. Never ever enter the elevator that I am using. You are an unstable time bomb. Your little brain bomb goes off anywhere near me or my apartment again you will have problems the likes of which you will not understand.

I am up working some nights until 3am. I sleep when I want to. I don't steal and I don't lie and absolutely nothing about my life or my schedule is any of your business. If you ever make any untoward actions against myself, my loved ones or any of my friends that causes myself or anyone misfortune I will see to it that you deeply, forever regret crashing my door today.

You made your mess. You clean it. You insulted my integrity. I was very kind to you. I will not be kind next time. I do not wake up any day to tolerate bullshit from a cretin like you.

A police report has been filed.

You have been warned. Stay away from me. Seek professional help.

Until you resolve your issues enjoy the music fuckhead.

Tom.

STAY TUNED PART TWO COMING SOON!!.